These two words must be a couple of the trickiest ones in the English language. It seems as if no speakers, and only some writers, know how to use who and whom correctly. In fact, whom doesn’t even exist in some people’s vocabularies, and unfortunately, it appears to be a word that is quickly disappearing from the English language.
Who is used as the subject of the clause it introduces.
Whom is used as the object of a preposition, as a direct object, or as an indirect object.
A key to remembering which word to use is simply to substitute who or whom with a pronoun. If you can substitute he, she, we, or they in the clause, and it still sounds okay, then you know that who is the correct word to use. If, however, him, her, us, or them sounds more appropriate, then whom is the correct choice for the sentence.
The following are some example sentences that illustrate how to correctly use who and whom.
Example 1 (who): The woman who [not whom] is standing over there is my mother.
Example 2 (whom): Whom are you going out with tonight? (Note that in formal writing, the sentence should be read: “With whom are you going out tonight?”)
Example 3 (whom): The stranded motorist whom I helped was very grateful.
If you substitute she for who in Example 1, it becomes obvious that who is the correct word: “…she [in place of who] is standing over there.” Now take a look at Example 3 above. Take the clause whom I helped and substitute him for whom. If you reverse the order of the words, the clause becomes I helped him. Him is in the place of whom. Remember that although this is a helpful way to distinguish between who and whom, you have to look at just the part of the sentence that begins with who or whom for this trick to work.
Regarding the preposition rule: British Prime Minister, Winston Churchill is supposed to have written, “This is the sort of English up with which I will not put.”
I would like to emphasize a rule. One should not use a preposition at the end of a sentence.
Incorrect:
Who are you talking about?
Correct:
About whom are you talking?
Caroline: It would be incorrect to say “them” if you were saying “them shoes”; in that case, the correction phrasing would be “those shoes” because “those” is serving the function of a demonstrative adjective (this, that, these, those). But using “those” by itself doesn’t seem incorrect to me because it’s just a demonstrative pronoun.
http://www.english-the-easy-way.com/Determiners/Demonstratives_That_This_Those_These.htm
Do you have any hints about “those” vs “them”?
If my children say, “I like them” it sounds wrong to me and I want to tell them that they should say, “I like those”. However, if you had a situation where nobody liked, say, a pair of shoes, you could end up saying, “You may not like them, but I like them”. In this case you wouldn’t say, “but I like those”.
So… is it just that you use “those” when you are specifying which pair of shoes, and “them” otherwise?
Great clarification of who and whom, thanks.
Is it correct or incorrect to say:-
‘she did it’. If the person is present, or is it more correct and polite to say ‘ Liz dit it’ etc.